Posted by: janedb | April 13, 2013

The End of a Life

British nurse in nurses' station.

British nurse in nurses’ station. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As I have explained in previous posts January was a dark month for me in hospital. I had survived a week in a side room by reading and was now on a bay on the main ward. Although I was happy to be where I was now, what disturbed me was how the lady opposite had got sicker since she first arrived after I was admitted on the 27th December.

When she had been admitted she was walking around the ward better than I was, and was independent. Now she was sat in a chair, could not sleep and could hardly walk. To watch a person’s decline is horrendous. The poor lady developed a nose bleed which would not stop, she was offered a platelet transfer transfusion but refused. They offered her a side room but she did not want to be moved, I think she knew what was happening.

By the end of the week they had decided that there was nothing more to be done, unfortunately although the curtains were round I heard the conversation they had with her and her husband. It was not something I would ever wish to hear. There were arrangements made to try to get her home for her last days. my children were in visiting on the Sunday when my eldest and I witnessed her passing. Her curtains were shut round her. Then the rest of the wards curtains were shut whilst she was moved to a side room. After her family had visited the wards curtains again were closed whilst her body was removed to the morgue.

To witness someones slow death was something I will not forget and shook my son up. It affected him, so that I went through a difficult time with him, I think he was worried that might be me.

The bright thing about being on the ward was that I was able to talk to the ward staff whilst they went about their work. All the staff are very friendly and enjoy a chat. I believe in treating everyone the same regardless of their position. Talking about anything helps you to forget and have access to the world outside of the ward. At this point I was still confined to the ward itself.

I was still in pain and receiving IV antibiotics. The pain was getting worse as the diarrhea had not stopped, and the ulcer was growing and getting very sore. My blood was not as it should be so it was decided to wait before anything was done.

There were times of fun, being given a ride when the bed space was cleaned. The bed sides were put up, the bed was put to its highest position and your bed was moved into the middle of the bay. It gave a different view of the ward and out of the window. I also moved across from my bed space to where the lady had passed away as a sick patient needed to be in my space which could be seen from the nurses station. It was funny just to walk from one side to the other.  I asked for the chair to be changed as I did not want to sit in the chair where she had died.

I had to push what had happened out of my mind so I could sleep. The young woman who was moved into my space looked like a space man due to the oxygen tent that she was wearing on her head. She required the constant attention  of a nurse and nursing assistant. Later that night she was moved to intensive care.

I have some amazing friends but after what I had been through in October I decided I did not want anyone other than my family to see me at my worst. I know it is because I am a control freak and I know it is something I have got to stop. They asked many times to see me but I could not handle them seeing me as I was, no hair and swollen eyes. I know it would not have mattered to them, but I do not like sharing when I am feeling depressed. Being with someone in that state does not bother me, but I want to hide when I am in a black cloud.

There was a silver cloud on the horizon.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

Big Red Carpet Nursing

Fun & Progress!

Liz Who Motivates

LIGHT UP the 🌎 with ❤ ! #lightuptheworldwithlove

Bagladys Guide to Elegant Living by Dina Dove

Discover Dina Dove's new book and be inspired and you learn to love the life you have.

ostphoto

Capturing Memories One Snap at a Time

Lemons and Spuds

Battling depression, memories of expat life, life after ...

The top 9 Diets

How to lose weight in 9 different ways

My Big Business Card

Establish Your Expertise with a Book

IT News & Technology Chat

Discovering Our World Through Technology

reinventingyourselftoday

Self Development

Confident Horsemanship with Anne Gage

The Relationship Coach for Horsewomen (and their horses)

Totally Emily

Blogging for Beginners & Beyond!

Oh! My Heartsie Reviews

Blog resources, product reviews, events and tutorials

Our Life's Adventures

Homeschooling, Public school, and everything in between

Shoppin With Marilyn

Providing awesome customer service & quality products at great prices.

The Empowering Love Project

Empowering people to pursue personal growth and create love and tolerance in the world.

Erin E. M. Hatton

Author of Across the Deep, Otherworld, and To Woo a Lady

andrei plimbarici

Calatorind Descoperi

letmeseethelight

Shedding light in a very dark place - foster care.

Game4Learning

Fun Learning Resouces for Kids

Bucket List Publications

Indulge- Travel, Adventure, & New Experiences

%d bloggers like this: