Posted by: janedb | April 24, 2013

Disappointment

I returned home after being let out of hospital feeling rather low. I did not have to return till the following Tuesday when I was to have another bone marrow aspirate. Medications were finished and I was now waiting for results to tell me whether I was totally cured.

When I went to clinic on the Thursday I expected some word about being free of leukemia but I was told my bloods were fine and the result from London would be back in ten days time, although now I could leave the neutropenic diet behind as I was no longer neutropenic. I had had a salad one night when I was in with pneumonia and it caused my doctors worry so I had to promise I would not have one again until I was told I could. It was magical to eat a meal that was really fresh and not dried out.  Since that clinic I have had a large salad every lunch and I am now able to eat all the fruit I want.

It is nice to try to get back to normal but I am still waiting for the definitive all clear so really do not feel I can celebrate. I have since been back to the clinic and the result has still not come back. My dad has a bottle of champagne waiting but does not want to open it until we know for definite. I feel in limbo, deeply grateful the treatment has finished, but scared in case I need more. My case is finally unpacked as I feel I have to act as if I am cured for my boys and I am now starting the process of trying to sort out the house.

Now being on half pay I am also having to sort out benefit entitlement and get the divorce proceedings going. Since the rules on who is eligible for legal aid is changing I have got to continue with the claim I have started. It seems you fill in one form then because that changes something else you have more forms to complete. When I have finished I am going to produce a list of where to get help if you are sick or you have to leave an abusive relationship.

My boys seem to forget I have been ill and seem to think we have elves in to do the chores, but I guess they were spoilt  while I was ill by their grandparents. I now have to try to get them to help which is hard work. My energy levels are still very low and I am having to learn to rest when I have done something. Life is getting better each day and I am enjoying all the small things I missed whilst I was being treated.

I went to visit my GP to ask how to come off my antidepressant and he asked me to wait until the summer but he said I did not know how good it was to see me. He has seen every letter that is sent when I am admitted and said I had a very strong body to have got through all the complications that came my way.

My hair has grown back, it is still very short but I like it this way now. It is so easy to look after and baby fine. I still have brown marks round my eyes where the bruising was in January and get double takes sometimes, but I don’t care, I am still here.

Due to my disappointment I have not blogged for a few days, but I have now got myself together. I feel to well to be ill and for two months running my bloods have been good so I can wait for the result without fear. It is gone and it is not coming back. I am still standing.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. I hope you get a positive result. Yes you are still standing and still breathing and getting to eat salad again 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

Big Red Carpet Nursing

Fun & Progress!

Liz Who Motivates

LIGHT UP the 🌎 with ❤ ! #lightuptheworldwithlove

Bagladys Guide to Elegant Living by Dina Dove

Discover Dina Dove's new book and be inspired and you learn to love the life you have.

ostphoto

Capturing Memories One Snap at a Time

Lemons and Spuds

Battling depression, memories of expat life, life after ...

The top 9 Diets

How to lose weight in 9 different ways

My Big Business Card

Establish Your Expertise with a Book

IT News & Technology Chat

Discovering Our World Through Technology

reinventingyourselftoday

Self Development

Confident Horsemanship with Anne Gage

The Relationship Coach for Horsewomen (and their horses)

Totally Emily

Blogging for Beginners & Beyond!

Oh! My Heartsie Reviews

Blog resources, product reviews, events and tutorials

Our Life's Adventures

Homeschooling, Public school, and everything in between

Shoppin With Marilyn

Providing awesome customer service & quality products at great prices.

The Empowering Love Project

Empowering people to pursue personal growth and create love and tolerance in the world.

Erin E. M. Hatton

Author of Across the Deep, Otherworld, and To Woo a Lady

andrei plimbarici

Calatorind Descoperi

letmeseethelight

Shedding light in a very dark place - foster care.

Game4Learning

Fun Learning Resouces for Kids

Bucket List Publications

Indulge- Travel, Adventure, & New Experiences

%d bloggers like this: