Posted by: janedb | April 24, 2013


I returned home after being let out of hospital feeling rather low. I did not have to return till the following Tuesday when I was to have another bone marrow aspirate. Medications were finished and I was now waiting for results to tell me whether I was totally cured.

When I went to clinic on the Thursday I expected some word about being free of leukemia but I was told my bloods were fine and the result from London would be back in ten days time, although now I could leave the neutropenic diet behind as I was no longer neutropenic. I had had a salad one night when I was in with pneumonia and it caused my doctors worry so I had to promise I would not have one again until I was told I could. It was magical to eat a meal that was really fresh and not dried out.  Since that clinic I have had a large salad every lunch and I am now able to eat all the fruit I want.

It is nice to try to get back to normal but I am still waiting for the definitive all clear so really do not feel I can celebrate. I have since been back to the clinic and the result has still not come back. My dad has a bottle of champagne waiting but does not want to open it until we know for definite. I feel in limbo, deeply grateful the treatment has finished, but scared in case I need more. My case is finally unpacked as I feel I have to act as if I am cured for my boys and I am now starting the process of trying to sort out the house.

Now being on half pay I am also having to sort out benefit entitlement and get the divorce proceedings going. Since the rules on who is eligible for legal aid is changing I have got to continue with the claim I have started. It seems you fill in one form then because that changes something else you have more forms to complete. When I have finished I am going to produce a list of where to get help if you are sick or you have to leave an abusive relationship.

My boys seem to forget I have been ill and seem to think we have elves in to do the chores, but I guess they were spoilt  while I was ill by their grandparents. I now have to try to get them to help which is hard work. My energy levels are still very low and I am having to learn to rest when I have done something. Life is getting better each day and I am enjoying all the small things I missed whilst I was being treated.

I went to visit my GP to ask how to come off my antidepressant and he asked me to wait until the summer but he said I did not know how good it was to see me. He has seen every letter that is sent when I am admitted and said I had a very strong body to have got through all the complications that came my way.

My hair has grown back, it is still very short but I like it this way now. It is so easy to look after and baby fine. I still have brown marks round my eyes where the bruising was in January and get double takes sometimes, but I don’t care, I am still here.

Due to my disappointment I have not blogged for a few days, but I have now got myself together. I feel to well to be ill and for two months running my bloods have been good so I can wait for the result without fear. It is gone and it is not coming back. I am still standing.



  1. I hope you get a positive result. Yes you are still standing and still breathing and getting to eat salad again 🙂

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