Posted by: janedb | September 16, 2014

It returned but I am still here.

I finally got told I was all clear at the next clinic appointment, but there was bad news to come.  My worst nightmare had come true, the leukaemia was back.

I will detail in further posts all the complications with the second round of treatment, the highs and lows, but for today I just want to state I am a survivor. During dealing with the leukaemia, I have also had to deal with house repossession, Police searching for my ex, and demands for his debts that occurred  after he left.

I have taken myself from rock bottom fitness and mood wise to where I am now, able to deal with what ever curve balls life decides to throw my way. Nothing is going to knock me down for good. I am a cat with nine lives and I still have some to use.

Tomorrow I do the second day of my phased return to work. Only two hours, but after two years of treatment it is enough as I am going into the classroom again as teaching assistant on my own without any chance to shadow a fellow worker. Scary, but they obviously have faith in my abilities. I hope that it all clicks back into place when I am in the classroom, but I think it is normal after two years to feel nervous.

Today I had a bone marrow aspirate and the nurses in the treatment room realised I was there due to my laugh in the waiting room. It is an unpleasant and painful experience but I get a legal high from the gas and air (Entonox – half oxygen and half nitrous oxide). I do not know if because I have has so much of it I seem more affected by it, but I still feel high now and I left the treatment room at 11.00 a.m. British Summer Time. Another piece of wisdom I have to share is never do your grocery shopping on-line after having it. When I did I over stocked on non perishable items and my boys were ‘Where are we going to put this Mum?’. At least my next orders were very much cheaper.

Having a warped sense of humour has got me through and will continue to aid me with whatever challenges are sent my way. I was told I looked to well to be there, and that is great because I am getting stronger. For me going back to the ward, it is like going to visit family and if I can spread some happiness and cheer while I am there all the better.

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